L'Arpège: Alain Passard

Paris has a total of ten 3-Michelin starred restaurants, thirteen 2 Michelin starred restaurants, and somewhere along the arena of forty 1 Michelin starred establishments. However in the month of August, there are a total of. . . 2 restaurants open. I'm not exaggerating. I went through the entire list of 3 Michelin starred restaurants, and ONE was open.

As I had forewarned you readers a couple weeks ago when I first arrived, I found the 2010 list for Michelin starred restaurants, had pdf-ed it, saved it, and had fully intended to print it out for maximum gratification when I can physically take an obnoxiously bright highlighter to cross them out, one by one. Alas, my computer crashed shortly thereafter and I was unable to do so. Perhaps an admonition from the Wallet Depletion Prevention gods. However I managed to find another list and proceeded to weed through them with Chicco as we decided between the . . . two that were open. The final decision was L'Arpège.

L'Arpège was the kind of restaurant that doesn't post their menu prices on the web. They're the kind of restaurant that when you walk in, they ask for your coat, address you as "Madame" or "Monsieur" and once you've been seated, they're the kind of restaurant to open a bottle of Evian water so that you're nervous the entire dinner as to whether or not they've charged you for it.

The restaurant was empty when we walked in for our 7:30 pm reservation. Empty.
Me and Chicco had to whisper to each other and gasp quietly when we saw the prices of the entrées. And the wine.

Our waitress was very chipper in her black ensemble and tightly cinched bun.
She explained the menu to us and offered to split the dishes so as to minimize the astronomical prices, which put me quite at ease. The other waiters were either really snooty or just bad at English. There was one lady who looked like death, but she was nice enough. She spoke Franglais, which is my favorite language. I am fluent in it.

Somehow after ordering 2 dishes, we still got like. . . 9.

amuses bouches

heirloom tomato gazpacho with olive oil and celeriac ice cream
Very very delicious. The flavors blended together beautifully, but were distinct in their own way individually. The celery ice cream was so flavorful -- who would have thought celery would be ... "flavorful"?

Egg yolk with cream and maple syrup
I don't know the official name for it
and I'm too lazy to look it up.
Try googling "french egg. . . runny. . . breakfast" and see how many hits you get.

Garden selection of baby vegetables
beets, carrots, squash, tomatoes floating in a creamy foam

Sole fillet with cabbage and tomatoes and Matcha sauce
mmmmMmm the sauce was excellent.

gratinéed onions with veggies on top
Chicco didn't like this one, but I liked it :)
It was sweet and light.

For dessert we shared this apple tart that was quite pretty but the lighting was horrible.
Additionally, there were macarons and jellies.
I was so full by then that I could barely pop the little guys in my mouth.
If I remember correctly the macaron flavors were zucchini, basil, vanilla, tomato, and something else.

Cheese platter.

In conclusion, it was a pleasant dinner, but I expected more. The chef actually came outside to make his rounds asking people if they were enjoying their meals, and was really jovial and humble when we showered him with necessary praise. It's true that it was very nice of them to give us so many free dishes, but I felt as though their prices were really too high to not expect that. The food was for the most part enjoyable to eat, but I wasn't WOW'ed by the innovation. Perhaps France, your reputation precedes you. Next time I'll be dining NOT in the month of August, and I'll be invited by a rich acquaintance.