where I belong.

It’s always nice to feel like you belong somewhere.  Of course like most things, you never realize or appreciate the true comfort of belonging until you have to do without.  It’s an icky feeling – routineless and nameless in a foreign land.  No photographs to tack on the walls and no one to phone at the end of the day.  Belonging is probably the most sought after state of being right under that feeling you get after a nice, large, satisfying meal.

It never occurred to me just how hard we strove to belong until I found myself consumed with that overwhelming desire to be a part of something. 

I think Hercules knows what I’m talking about. 

“I have often dreamed of a far off place

where a great warm welcome

will be waiting for me. 

And the crowds will cheer

when they see my face

and a voice keeps saying

this is where I’m meant to be. 

I will find my way. 

I can go the distance. 

I’ll be there someday. 

Somehow I’ll be strong. 

I know every mile will be worth my while. 

I will go most anywhere to feel like I belong.”

He sings about a journey to distant land and doing whatever it takes to get there.  He dreams about belonging.  Here in Mijas, there are tourists everywhere.  I see them daily scuffling about, hobbling in and out of the souvenir shops that riddle our tiny pueblo.  They ride the decorated burro carriages and wander until they realize that the day is spent, and then they cozy down for some wine and tapas.  This is a town that thrives off of travelers – those who do not belong. 

I quickly realized during my first day here that my idea of home had been redefined this past year. Home wasn’t a familiar place.  It was an unfamiliar place.  Belonging shouldn’t be attached to any particular person or place.  It needs to take root somewhere inside yourself.  Belonging is feeling grounded when people leave and landscapes change and life happens.  Belonging is knowing who you are and where you are is exactly how it’s supposed to be. 

I’m not quite at that place yet, but somehow, I’ll get there. 

That’s what this blog is titled.  Vaille que vaille.  Somehow, someway.